Gluing Speakers, The Saga of Intergalactic Strife, and the Great VHS Concession of 2013

So, when we left off with the previous blog, I was in the middle of rebuilding a set of Infinity Sterling SS-2002 speakers. Again, I guess I must reiterate that it's not a rebuild in the strictest sense of audiophile standards since I didn't replace capacitors in the crossover or anything and I merely replaced the surrounds on the woofers, but I'll still label it a rebuild. I'm a rebel like that. Unfortunately, I didn't exactly document the gluing process but long story short, the $8 eBay speaker surround kit worked in conjunction with the recommended craft glue to rejuvenate these thrift find speakers. They sound fuggin' amazing. With really bright highs and a nice low end, they actually sound heaps better than the Fisher speakers they sit on top of. Actually, even at a fraction of the size, they weigh about the same as the monstrous 3-way Fishers. And as Boris the Blade would say; weight is a sign of reliability.

Completed Speakers Sitting Atop the Shoulders of Giants

With that completed and out of the way, it was back to the thrift store for me to find more pointless shit that I can hoard in the reading room. But what would occupy my time this go round? I thought long and hard about that. I considered tape decks, 8-track players, laserdisc setups, outdated encyclopedias, but a quick flash in the corner of my eye from a gold colored VHS box set caught my attention and ultimately sealed the deal. BOOM. The Star Wars Trilogy digitally enhanced and remastered in THX sound on VHS. Ugh. VHS. The fucking scourge of cassette based home entertainment. The absolutely abhorrent asshole of analog audio/visual reproduction. But, since I have all but given up on my Betamax quest, I figured why not just bow down before the VCR gods and concede defeat in the VHS/Betamax format war started decades ago. So, in addition to my $2.98 box set, I had to purchase a $6.98 VCR and my foray into the world of Intergalactic Strife had begun. Oh, did I mention that at the age of 28 I have never watched the Star Wars Trilogy? I know, dafuq right? I'll wait while that little tidbit of information sinks in. Never. Watched. Star Wars. Recently, I had watched an unmolested, digital, OG copy of a New Hope (Ya know, the one where Han shoots first?) provided to me by a friend after much guffaw regarding the fact that I had never watched a single frame of Star Wars. So other than that very recent screening of Episode IV, this was my big leap into the Star Wars franchise. 

Without much pomp and circumstance, I spent the weekend watching the Trilogy on the far superior and unerring format of VHS tape (note the sarcasm). I was truly impressed by the movies and how they hold up after all these years. For what it was, for when it was, the practical effects are fucking incredible. So incredible in fact that I found Lucas' digital enhancements to be disgusting and out of place. I see now why people of discerning taste looked upon me with disgust when I told them, quite proudly and arrogantly in fact, that I had never seen Star Wars. I will save you the hassle of reading a whole diatribe on my full Star Wars experience and I will just point out a few things that stuck out in my mind.

1: Luke is a total crybaby in most of Episode IV. 

2: R2D2 poops a third appendage when it's time to really haul ass.

3: Han is a bad motherfucker who is quick with the one liners.

4: Sand People will totally jack your land speeder up and strip it for parts if given the opportunity.

5: People continuously back talk and sass a man that can Force choke you until your trachea collapses.

6: Everyone got a medal of valor except for Chewy at the end of IV and that is bullshit. Total fucking bullshit.

7: Tauntaun guts are nasty but warm.

8: Yoda loves snacks and flashlights and won't hesitate to bust a droid in the face with a walking stick.

9: Luke is a total crybaby during most of his Jedi training.

10: Han is a bad motherfucker who gets cock blocked numerous times in V.

11: Lando Calrissian is the biggest intergalactic pimp to ever live. He also has the best hair in the galaxy. And that cape, c'mon. No one rocks a space cape like L to the Cizzle.

12: Being frozen in carbonite would suck. Like, ruin your day suck.

13: Being unfrozen from carbonite would suck. Like, ruin your day and vision suck.

14: Slave Leia: super smexy.

15: Ewoks are adorable. Even when they die horrible, tragic, violent deaths, they do it adorably. 

16: The Emperor is a big pile of pale yuck butter. What the fuck happened to that guy?

17: Admiral Akbar, you knew that shit was a trap. Didn't you see the meme?

18: I think I would have given up after the first Death Star. Something smaller would probably be easier to defend and have way less exploitable weaknesses.

19: Ewoks beat the shit out of the Imperial Army with rocks and rope. Adorable. Fucking adorable.

20: I want to party with the Ewoks in those badass tree houses.

And that's it, kids. I watched it, I enjoyed it, and although I kind of regret waiting this long to see it, the wait made it that much sweeter. Now, the true question is: leave it there or watch Episodes 1-3? Can you feel the conflict within me?