Man, the Z-Poc Be Scary

I'm not really sure why people automatically assume that a trove of guns is the best commodity to own during a zombie apocalypse. Seems like carrying a ton of guns and ammunition would be more cumbersome than useful, and if I am to believe everything I know from television, comics, and movies, firing guns just attracts mobs of the undead almost instantly. A .22, maybe. It's light, quiet, and a thousand rounds of .22 will fit into a single cargo pocket and weighs nothing. Who is really gonna lug around a shotty and all those huge shells? That won't fit in a bug-out fanny pack. You know what will? Claw hammer. You know what's cheaper and more available than any gun? Claw hammer. Care to speculate on what is a perfectly lethal, yet stealthily silent weapon? If you guessed claw hammer you are a friggin' genius. Yep, when the Z-poc hits, I'm kicking it old school: pointy sticks and claw hammers. I might even acquire a katana or two, who knows? No guns for me though, they don't fit my post apocalyptic utopian agenda. Nope, just me, my stick and bindle, the bug-out fanny pack, a claw hammer, and a chain-mail shark-bite suit. That's all I need. Matter of fact, I think I have some Harbor Freight coupons laying around. I might grab a few more claw hammers for my hammer caches. You can never hide too many hammers strategically about your metropolis. That's a fact that you can take all the way to the bank. (Don't bother looking for them. Even if you wander upon my maps, they are all written in modified Nostradamus code, translated into ubbi-dubbi, and transcribed backwards and upside down. Good luck deciphering that shit, even I can't do it.)

A beautiful hammer in classic hickory, does it get any better?