A Cassette Addendum: Let's Fix Those Warbled And Wonky Tunes

So you've delved into the wonderful world of audio cassettes but were welcomed with warbled and wonky tunes? Don't fret. There might be an easy fix. Before you blame your antiquated tape deck, check your cassette tape for the absence of the felt pressure pad. This pressure pad helps hold the tape securely against the tape head in your player. Without proper contact pressure your playback might be distorted and a bit on the crappy side. It should be noted, however, that some higher-end players bypass the pressure pad and can function without them. Cheaper players like boom boxes and Walkmans seem more susceptible to pressure pad related distortion. But if your felt pad is missing, good news, it's an easy fix!

This little felt dude should be chillin' right about here.

If not, you'll have a naked bit of copper like this.

What I normally use for this repair is a T-pin, some glue (craft glue, Elmer's White, or even wood glue will work), a paper match stick, and felt pressure pads sourced new online or robbed from a donor cassette.

Carefully extract a length of tape from the cassette to gain access to the copper strip to which the felt pad is normally attached. I use a T-pin to get behind the tape and pull a good loop out. This might not be the best method, but in true Idiotic Anecdotes fashion, it gets the job done so I continue to repeat the stupidity.

To apply the glue to the felt pads, I use a paper matchstick. An old car painter taught me that trick. Paper match sticks work great for paint touch-up, glue application, and all kinds of detail work.

Handling the tiny felt pads can be pretty tricky if you have stupid cumbersome fingers like mine. I find that sticking the bugger with a pin works well for getting it properly placed. Tweezers would probably be a good solution as well. Either way, plop the gluey pad into place, apply a bit of pressure to ensure good adhesion, and let the glue dry. Once the glue sets, you are once again ready to enjoy the mediocre sounds of cassette tapes! 

Two happy tapes, repaired and ready to play.

And that's it! You now have the knowledge to do minor repairs on your cassettes. If they are still playing like junk after the repair it may be time to start looking at your player as a suspect. Giving the tape head a good rub down with some high grade isopropyl alcohol on a cotton swab might help. Beyond that, you'll have to find a blogger with more smarts than me to confer with. An easy feat no doubt. Holla atcha boy!

In Defense of Cassette Tapes

In this ever changing landscape of media storage and distribution, one would certainly like to think that things don't fade into the shadows of obsolescence for nothing. When a format goes the way of the dinosaurs there is usually solid reasoning behind its extinction. When people look to a format for their audio and video reproduction needs they are generally looking for a balance of quality, convenience, portability, and cost effectiveness. So why then, in this age of instantly available, cloud-stored, zero-physical-footprint, magic digital media are people still clinging to cassettes? NPR recently explored this conundrum in a blog post entitled The Good Listener: Does The World Still Need Cassettes? In a nutshell, for the author, aside from handmade mixtapes oozing with sentiment, the answer was a resounding no. But can a case be made for this obsolete technology?

Defending cassettes has recently become one of my favorite hobbies. Although my bulletproof retort to the constant barrage of "WHY?" is simply a shrug of the shoulders and a "why not?". I know, I should have been a lawyer, right? In all reality I can't really make any objective arguments for the superiority of tape based media. Cassette tapes in any form are bulky, fickle at times, they (as well as the equipment they require for playback) need occasional physical maintenance, and the quality from aging tapes can often be sub-par. You have to remember that these formats are carried over from the days when an analog sine wave ruled supreme over a land of infant binary ones and zeros. In this land, dubbing media to magnetic cassette tape was much more cost effective and netted higher quality than early digital alternatives. But as our binary babies grew and computer processing power became better and cheaper, sampling rates increased, digital file sizes shrunk, and lasers (fuckin' LASERS!) were able to store and read digital media with high capacity optical discs. With the dawning of the age of CD's, LD's, MP3s, and FLVs, cassettes were forced into the shadows. The very shadows in which I lie in wait to comfort them. But again, why? The only argument I can make for cassettes is not a rational or scientific one, but rather an emotional one. I will contend that cassette based media will always offer current and subsequent generations novelty and nostalgia. As you know, novelty and nostalgia can overcome reason nine times out of ten.

When you hold a cassette, whether it be a VHS tape or an audio cassette, it is like holding a slice of history. If you are old enough to have lived with these formats it brings you back to earlier times and the memories they hold. Maybe you can remember those puffy white Disney VHS cases that were distinctively different and harder to store than their cardboard sleeved brethren. Or maybe you remember the mixtapes that took you forever to make; listening patiently to your favorite radio station for hours on end with your finger hovering over the REC button in case your favorite song aired so that you might capture it on tape forever. If you weren't old enough to live it perhaps you find novelty in trying to imagine what it would be like before the days of direct track access and perfect picture quality. Either way, it is emotion that keeps us tethered to these plastic-encased spools of tape. When you pop in a VHS tape and cue up that grainy low def picture you aren't doing it for the quality, you are doing it because it is fun. You watch the outdated previews, you remember how elated you were that the Feature Presentation was about to start, and how sometimes you had to stay put until after the credits for Special Features. The same can said of audio cassette tapes. Although cassette tapes COULD, under the best of circumstances, potentially rival other formats in sound quality I only listen to them now because it's fun and novel. Popping in a tape, watching the spools turn, having to fast forward and guess when your favorite track is cued up, it is just fun.

So I guess my only real defense for video and audio cassettes is that they offer the one thing that digital media can't, novelty. They give you a break from the mundane and impersonal nature of the MP3s or streaming video and allow you to physically hold the media from which you derive so much pleasure. You can pass off your favorite love-to-hate cassette (see also: Vanilla Ice) to your friend or you can loan them that cheesy low-budget horror movie on VHS. The best part of sharing cassettes? You can't just beam them through the net or share them on Facebook, you have to place them in the hands of the recipient. You have to say "Hello, pal. How are you? Here is a tape I think you would enjoy." Face to face interaction, how's that for novelty?