Analog Blogs: Pocket Sized Idiocy

Before my days on Blogger, I used to carry around the travel version of my "blog" in my back pocket, always accessible for jotting down stupid ideas or whimsical musings. My analog blog, if you will. It all started with my Moleskine, the legendary notebook that Hemingway carried with him to keep track of his ideas and writings. I will admit that I started carrying it for reasons of vanity, sure. It was just a cool little book to have on hand and it smacked of inherent hipness. I mean, shit, Hemingway carried one, why shouldn't I? Soon, as I had strange thoughts or stupid ideas, I started to jot them down in my Moleskine because, naturally, who doesn't want to remember every stupid thought they have ever had?

For example, as seen above, in 2004 I decided that you should be able to convert Life Alert pendants for mere convenience. A subscription service would be there for you when you hit that little call button and proclaimed "Help! I've pooped, and I have no T.P!" or "I've fallen on the couch and can't reach my beer!". In these books it was just page after page of dumb ideas just like that. But, that is where this whole concept of me blogging came from. It was just a natural extension of keeping paper records of my idiocy. Why not convert that idiocy into the digital form of ones and zeros and post it to the web where it would always linger in the annals of web ephemera. Now I carry around my little green Memorandum books, the indestructible little bastards that they are, and jot stupidity down amongst my work notes or project measurements. These little scribbles soon get fleshed out into the blog posts you have come to know and loathe (but hopefully actually love). There you have it, the history of my desire to keep and preserve the dumb things that rattle around in my brain. I hope that in some way, shape, or form, you find them as amusing as I do when they strike me. After all, if I didn't think it was funny to me, why would I bother jotting it down? Here are a few more excerpts from the books.

My original manifesto was slated to be a picture book extolling the virtues of a treeless world. It was a bit tongue in cheek and subversive, but it just came across as the ravings of a lunatic.

This was something my mind put together after solving one of those stupid crypto-puzzles where the solution is always some stupid pun. I created my own cipher and this was the solution. 

A page of random scribbling, waiting to be converted into blog posts.