Hazard Flashers and the Magic Twine

There is an old adage that claims that ignorance is bliss. Well, if this is the case, then driving down the highway in the hammer lane at forty-two miles per hour with your hazards on and a California King mattress tied to the roof of your Honda Civic with the free twine from the furniture store must border on orgasmic. What is it about hazard flashers and that magical free twine that makes people lose all sense of physics and common sense? If you think about the amount of wind sheer it takes to fold a Sealy Posturepedic in half like a newspaper, why on Earth would you trust free twine from a cardboard box to secure it to your roof for a jaunt about the interstate? That twine looks and feels like it is made from extruded grocery bags and should have the tensile strength of wet Charmin. But it's magic twine. Somehow, emboldened by the psycho-kinetic power of ignorance, that fucking twine (and sometimes a bit of arm muscle) can hold said mattress against hurricane force winds. It boggles the mind. It truly does. Combined with the force-field creating effect of hazard flashers, you can go anywhere with your pillow-top death-trap without a single care in the whole wide world. Pop those hazards on and *poof* laws of common man no longer apply to you. Want to create a full size Jenga set out of your household furniture in the back of your pickup truck and go for a buzz down the road without securing it in any way? Just flick on the hazards and do it. Go five miles per hour, too. Just for good measure. Wouldn't want to topple that Jenga tower at the first pothole, would you?